Cosmicrayola

my friends call me Cosmic.

That's better than what some people call me


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from the start.

2002-01-30 8:28 p.m.

Changed My Fool Mind Once Again

Changed My Fool Mind Again

Ok, so here we go with another change of plans.

For those of you who are new to my diary, I had a lumpectomy in April and they found LCIS. If you want to know what this is about, I already explained it here At this time I opted for a bilateral prophalactic mastectomy. But after talking with my Surgeon, he had a different idea .

Well, day after day I had this fear of having full blown breast cancer. So I had a plan and went back to see my surgeon. At this visit we agreed I would have the operation in May.

I somehow figured that now we decided to go for it in May, that I would get some sort of relief knowing it would soon be over.

WRONG!

I have been more of a nervous wreck since then than I can ever put to words. I wake up every morning wondering if something is going to happen between now and May. So today I took care of THAT problem.

I will be gong into the hospital on Tuesday, February 19th and do the dirty deed. Hubby is so thoughtful. He asked my surgeon if he could transplant my nips onto my shoulderblades. He cracks me up. Before you jump to conclusions and think he is horribly insensitive, this is our sense of humor. This humor has gotten us through Hubby's 18 surgeries in the past 2 1/2 years which end result was his double amputation. He jokes about his situation constanly. It keeps us from going into the dark.

Dark is a place you go to when you feel all is lost and the dispair is too great to handle.

Dark is not a place we choose to go. Humor keeps the light. Humor keeps the faith. Humor keeps us sane.

So to all my female friends and any of you cross-dressing males (there's nothing wrong with that, Seinfeld says so) I ask you to join with me on February 19th. I ask you to take off your bra and toss it in the air for me! I ask you to parade down the street topless for me! I ask that you stop srangers in the street and tell them about me! Why? Why? you ask?

So you will get arrested and have to spend the night in a 4X6 room and eat shit for Dinner like I will!!

later....

Later,
Cosmic

|

yesterday's gone/tomorrow's coming

From no news to much news - zing! - 7:31 P.M. , Friday, Mar. 07, 2008
Keeping the smile - 5:01 P.M. , Wednesday, Mar. 05, 2008
Welcome to my world. - 4:11 P.M. , Monday, Mar. 03, 2008
So Very Sad - 5:33 P.M. , Friday, Feb. 29, 2008
Sunday Stuff - 12:21 A.M. , Monday, Feb. 25, 2008


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