Cosmicrayola

my friends call me Cosmic.

That's better than what some people call me


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from the start.

2001-08-08 9:52 p.m.

Mastectomy!

Mastectomy

Sometimes life sucks! I guess it all depends on how you look at it. I had a lumpectomy in April and was told that it isn't cancer, it's a "flag". A freakin flag! Ok, then I do the research. I have, what the all knowing pathologist say is pre-cancer, but not cancer. Treatment? Tomoxofen. I can't take it. Seems that if you have EVER had a blood clot, they won't give it to you to prevent full blown cancer. But wait! You may never get it! Let's just watch the mamogram and see what happens. So today I had another mamogram. 4 months since the lumpectomy. Now it seems, I have two more "Flags" in that breast and two new "flags" in the other breast! I now have more freakin "flags" than NATO! Well, maybe I am being a tad facecious. (sp, but who gives a damn)

So, I have chosen, against my doctors wishes, to have a double masectoy. Why? Like I said to my daughter, "I can travel down the road at 120mph and live a lovely life, but, I know the inevitable will happen. I will die if I keep up that speed.

Well, that's the bad news. The good news is that I have also chosen NOT to have reconstruction surgery or implants. again, you ask WHY??

I choose instead to be a lifeline for women who have nobody to talk to about this sucky sentence. I will be flat as a board. (Hey, I came into this world that way) and proudly wear a pink ribbon and a little card that says, "I'm not bashful, just ask!"

I hope to educate those that do not know, comfort those who have no one and offer comic relief to those that need it. So whatcha think?

Accually, life does not suck when you consider the alternative. I choose to live, I choose to love and I choose to help any other woman that is having a hard time with this. Please give them this page and tell them to e-mail me. I will gladly hold their cyber hand.

And to all the men out there. My husband said tonight that the decision is mine to make. He loves me unconditionally. My breasts are not important compared to my life. If you are going through this with your wife, e-mail me too. I will put you in touch wih a man that knows the meaning of "in sickness and in health"

I am going to have my surgery in October. Untill then, I hope to keep the attitude I have now. I hope to keep the humor I have now and I hope to learn through this and to teach after, anyone who would listen.

Later,
Cosmic

|

yesterday's gone/tomorrow's coming

From no news to much news - zing! - 7:31 P.M. , Friday, Mar. 07, 2008
Keeping the smile - 5:01 P.M. , Wednesday, Mar. 05, 2008
Welcome to my world. - 4:11 P.M. , Monday, Mar. 03, 2008
So Very Sad - 5:33 P.M. , Friday, Feb. 29, 2008
Sunday Stuff - 12:21 A.M. , Monday, Feb. 25, 2008


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